I hate life and I don't know what to do?

I have an extreme sense of hopelessness, helplessness, and desperation all together. I might have a mental illness. I don’t know if I want to commit suicide because I want to die, or because I need help. I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve noticed that I don’t act normal anymore. I struggle to do day-today things. I don’t feel like anyone around me likes me anymore. I don’t really like people as much, including my “friends.” I don’t enjoy the things I used to like before. I always use to be cheerful, now, I’m depressed almost 90% of the time. See, I don’t want to kill myself, but I think I have to. I see no bright future, I see myself lonely. I’m starting to take a wrong path now (drugs…). I get scared of people a lot of the time. And I feel I’m so worthless. And I know I am just a failure.